The Adventures of Bunnymund Holmes
by TripleThreat123
Summary: The great detective, Bunnymund Holmes, always winds up on some sort of crazy adventure. Read and Review!


_**TA-DAAAAAAAAAAAA! New story! (Before I get started, this was inspired by Rinpin- GOOGLE HER. She is an amazing artist. This is a world where humanoids and animals and humans all live in happiness and peace. :)**_

_**FIRST STORY, CHAPTER ONE: Meet Holmes, Bunnymund Holmes.**_

_The year was 1891. 'Twas obvious rain was brewing over Europe. Russia and countries all the way to Ireland had taken sides and were at each other's throats, the results of a series scuffles and fights here and there. A few said it was for the country, others, the anarchists. As usual, my friend, Bunny Holmes, had a different theory- entirely._

_**()()(()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()( )()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()( )()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()( )()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()**_

Bombs weren`t daily things in the sunnier section of urban Russia, but when one went off, it was all over the newspapers.

"EXTRA! EXTRA!" Newsboys shouted, waving their papers around.

A lovely, feathered woman wearing a black overcoat over her purple dress walked past, carrying a package wrapped up in brown paper. The woman, Toothania Adler, walked along casually, as if the package was simply a mail call.

A nearby out-of-work kangaroo was just relaxing on a bench, pretending he was sound asleep, dressed to look like a kangaroo. When Toothania walked past the kangaroo, he stood up, walked behind her, and stared stuffing beans of multiple variations into his pockets.

Toothania waltzed down the steps like no one`s business, but paused to investigate a whistle. As she turned her head, her headdress was a blur of color- green, purple, gold and pink. The kangaroo stepped to the side her head wasn`t turned and tugged at her arm and began to casually walk (if a kangaroo can walk, thank you) along.

Toothania looked alarmed for a moment, but recognized the kangaroo.

"When did ya start workin` for th` postal service, sheila?" The marsupial pulled the package away from her feathered hands and laced his arm through hers.

"That was you back there!" She sighed. "Shame that your activities have landed you in the gutter."

The kangaroo changed subjects quickly, still walking forward. "Curious package. Who`s the intended recipient?"

The fairy pursed her lips. "Why don`t we discuss that over dinner?"

"I`m free for lunch."

"Hmm, I`m not. How about my favorite? Eight `o clock?" Toothania commented, looking at him, though she couldn`t see him past his glasses.

He paused, but only for the briefest of moments, considering. "Ace."

"Shall you be coming as yourself?" Toothania nodded at his attire.

"Should be..." He said, before pulling her behind a large pile of carts and birdcages. "Three men 'ave been following ya for th` last half mile with suspicious and odd motives. Ain`t asking ya to dinner."

Toothania glanced behind her, shocked, and then looked at the kangaroo. "No," She grabbed his paw in urgency, yanking down to an alley.

Something was up, and he knew it.

They weren`t too far down the alley when the largest of thugs (Who appeared to be a male hippo) stepped out, tossing an apple playfully and catching it again.

Toothania gasped, but not in shock and awe, but more in bemusement and surprise. "Oh, erm, by the way, they aren`t pursuing me, they`re escorting me, and there`s not three there`s…" She acted like she was counting an extra one (The hippo). "Four."

"Ah."

Toothania took back the package. The kangaroo lowered his voice slightly. "Careful with that."

"Oh, it`s not me you should worry about." Toothania chuckled. She patted his tuft of fur on his cheek. "Be careful with the face, gentlemen, we do have a dinner together tonight. Don`t fill up on eggs." She threw over her shoulder as she twirled on her heel and walked due south.

The hippo looked like he was chuckling. He then, maintaining all seriousness, whistled a line to Mozart's Eine Kline Nachtmusik, slowed down for a dramatic effect.

The kangaroo turned to the other three: an elephant, a parrot, and a gorilla. Our kangaroo cheerily whistled as he took off his glasses to show emerald green eyes.

The four paced around him, stripping down his camouflage to, slowly and surely, reveal a famous detective: Bunnymund Holmes.

Bunny smiled joyfully. "Ah`ve forgot th` rest." As he started off, the hippo used its huge arm to strangle him. Bunny was then slammed against a pole for some sort of foundation.

Bunny Homes grunted in pain. "Hold on, it`s commin` back."

The hippo received a painful kick into the knee and a chop to the jaw. The simple Aussie detective quickly became a blur of gray and brown (from his vest.)

The parrot went down like a sparrow on a windy day. The elephant got a whack in the groin from Bunny, which isn`t the sunniest thing ever, but still, took care of him. The gorilla was generously given a face full of beans Bunny had gathered earlier. The hippo was up and at 'im, while the elephant tried a headlock on Bunny, who ducked and made the elephant get a punch.

Bunny, a martial artist, was easily beating up them suckas and whamming the hippos head through the foundation. But that`s the point where he got his head whacked with an orange crate. The gorilla had Bunny`s jaw, ready to break his neck… when two human police officers walked by.

So, Bunny was let go and sat down and acted like he was meditating, the other four made play like guys in high school and acted like they were hanging out.

While the fuzz was walking away, Bunny saw everything- well, not really, he predicted everything that would most likely happen, and it always did. _That gorilla 'as a knife, the parrot 'as iron knuckles with spikes, th` elephant 'as a club, and th` hippo`s got a gun._

_ Time to get started._

Bunny opened his green eyes and looked at the parrot, who tossed it in the air.

The knife was drawn and blocked quickly, turned on the thug with the iron knuckles. The elephant with a club got flipped.

Now the gun.

Bunny reached up his paws, grabbed the gun, and turned it on the hippo.

Then our detective caught the apple.

He tossed it back to the original owner, took the bullets out of the gun, and tossed that back. He walked away, after Toothania.

()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()()() ()()()()()()()()()()

"We now come to lot 34," The auctioneer`s voice droned. "Egyptian sarcoughogus, in excellent condition. Achieved from the cobra temple…"

Toothania sat down next to an intelligent looking giraffe in the back. "Your payment, doctor. He sends his thanks."

"… One hundred pounds."

The giraffe returned a note. "Give it to him, he`s expecting it." The doctor unwrapped the paper to see a chestnut box. "Stay," He grabbed the leaving Toothania`s shoulder. "While I check the contents." He carefully slid it open halfway. "How should I be certain I received the payment…?" So far, it looked so.

He slid the lid all the way, when a bidding paddle slammed down on the contents of the box with a soft_ wack, _number 42. It had frozen a switch of some kind.

"'old it, 'old it, don` move it." Bunny Holmes quietly warned the two in front of him. "Judgin` from th` size an` weight of th` parcel, it ain`t th` pay ya want. Th` inside would be lighter." Bunny explained.

"Who is this?" The giraffe hissed to Toothania, who moaned and shrugged in distress.

"`Ello, dear." Bunny chirped and nuzzled Toothania as she grimaced. At that time, he took the letter out of her hand.

The giraffe, now curious, removed the top cover, to show a sort of… mechanism.

"Oh, holy dooley!" Bunny quietly yipped as he gripped onto his hat. "That`s gonna start it."

Toothania turned to leave. Bunny gripped her arm. "Darlin` pea, I might need ya` help." He dropped his pipe.

"…1064 pounds, 1700, thank you sir…" the auctioneer shouted loudly.

"ONE MILLY POUNDS!" Bunny shouted.

All present turned and gasped. The curtain caught on fire.

"Oh, and by the way, fire."

"Fire?"

"FIRE!"

Everyone ran, starting a stampede. Toothania started off, but turned back. "Don`t be late for dinner. I expect my schedule to be quite tight."

"Ah`m never late in my life, Ah`m early." Bunny chuckled.

Toothania leaned up to kiss him on his nose amidst passing chaos. "Fashionably." At the time she was kissing him, she patted her hands down his vest to find and retrieve her boss's letter.

Bunny yanked back, grabbing her wrists. "Nope, so confident even when you`re losin`. We`ll read it ov`r a swig."

Toothania rolled her eyes. "Dinner and a show." She walked away, all uppity.

The giraffe was left sitting there, blinking and holding the bomb.

Bunny grabbed the box. "Easy on, this is wat ah do for a livin`." He chunked it into the empty Egyptian coffin and looked at the doctor. "Ya count yaself lucky. This faceless man who calls this work is jus` a crim. Fortunately, ya got me." He slammed the lid shut and wheeled the coffin into a large storage room. "Per`aps ya`ve 'eard of me. Ma name is Bunny-"

A puff of gray smoke rose from the depths of the stone sarcoughogus and moved the lid four inches with a loud _boom_.

Bunny coughed. "… Holmes."

_**Yeah, I made bunny sound funny, but he`s EXTREAMLY Aussie in here, cause It`s awesome… AUSSIE-um. Heh. Heh, heh.**_

_**Review and look at my other stories!**_

_**Bye!**_

_** ~TripleThreat2**_


End file.
